Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and
cuddled my two children on demand, visited the
doctor's office more than my doctor, sold 62 cases
of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on
the school playground, and figured out how to attach
nine patches onto my daughter's Girl Scout sash with
staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several
Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my
son's red crayon on the back of a receipt in the laundry
between cycles, and who knows when I'll find
anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of
chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I
already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze,
but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out
of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a
waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh
month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a
car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that
only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broad-
cast any programs containing talking animals; and a
refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the
freezer where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter

doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental
confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler,
two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans
that will zip all the way up without the use of power

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting,
"Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands
off your brother," because my voice seems to be just
out of my children's hearing range and can only be
heard by the dog.

And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack,
the stocking stuffer this year for mothers of pre-
. It comes in three fluorescent colors and
is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the
In-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle
for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair
in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food
warmer than room temperature without it being
served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas
miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be
too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable?
It will clear my conscience immensely. It would
be helpful if you could coerce my children to help
around the house without demanding payment as if
they were the bosses of an organized crime family;
or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking down-
stairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and
my son saw my feet under the laundry room door.
I think he wants his crayon back. Have safe trip
and remember to leave your wet boots by the
chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so
you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't
eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,


Author unknown but, it could be me or many of my friends

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Merry Christmas Everyone  

Friday, December 19, 2008

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Happy Birthday Honey  

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This is so Cool  

Thursday, December 18, 2008

This is the most uplifting story I've heard in a long time. It also made me cry. Bring your tissue box over to

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Friday Funny  

Friday, December 5, 2008


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ABC's 20/20 November 21st  

Friday, November 21, 2008

If you have heard about the Nebraska Safe Harbor Act and the recent dumping of preteen and teen age children at hospitals in Nebraska, you need to see tonights show. From the outside looking maybe thinking "what kind of parent could do this"?

If I hadn't been exposed to children with profound behavior problems I would just assume that the parents of these children were monster's. The truth is that these parents have tried all the psychology/therapy/pills/charts and redirection theories that social workers and state agencies have to offer. Nothing worked. They aren't millionaire's and cannot afford residential care. Even if they could afford it the intake process for residential care is so restrictive that a child would almost have to have committed murder before they would even be considered. The sad fact is that once the child has committed murder they are more likely to be tried as an adult and sent to prison where their brain damage/mental health issue's are left to fester and grow even worse.

What do you do with a child that is physically or sexually abusive to family members? Here in Washington State the only option is for the parents to terminate Parental Responsibility. From there the child is placed in foster care with all the dangers that holds. Then after a period of some months the child is placed on the open adoption lists. Of course with the new medical privacy laws in place an adoptive family may not find out the child is dangerous until after the adoption is finalized and by then the child is no longer the states problem. Which is what I believe is the states plan to begin with.

When will something be done about this problem? When will the medical community and social services get the fact that some children cannot live in a family situation?

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Gift Cards or Real Gifts for Christmas?  

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

For myself I really don't care but, my Mother in law wants to give the children gift certificates for the co-op store that she works in. The store is an eclectic mix of imported artwork and clothing items. Mother in law stocks imports from Central America. While I find the store mildly entertaining there isn't anything there the kids want. Isn't it all about the kids?

When I was their age I didn't so much care what was in the box as long as there was a box to open. What can you do with a gift card/certificate on Christmas morning? Then of course, the gift cards/certificates actually mean more work for the kids mom.

I can't help but feel like Mom in law is manipulating us as well. "I gave you gift certificates, now you have to spend time with me" as if we wouldn't spend time with her any way. 'Course her excuse is that she "just has no idea what to get the kids". That's easy, I could tell her what to get which I have done in the past.

Oh btw, Mom in law is quitting the store as of Dec 31. I can't help but think this is some hair brained scheme to unload her inventory. This is a long favored tradition with her. I remember she cleaned out her closets back when we first got married. We were stuck hauling all her cast offs to our house. I ended up disposing of it while dh was spending a year in Korea. Along with dh's size 13 Waffle Stompers. Ugh, never have missed those things.

Do you think I am being greedy?

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LOL Guilty  

Friday, November 14, 2008

Lewis Lizzard, an Alaska defense attorney, arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it." And on and on and on..

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. His wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all and Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day her husband must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. "They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

To which he whirled around and screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?"

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Weekend Get-a-way  

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

On Saturday last I took two girls from our local fraternal organization on a four hour drive for an official state officer visit. Both the Grand Bethel Honored Queen and Grand Bethel Guardian/Associate Guardian and their adult officers were in attendance. Along with Miss Washington Jobs Daughters.

We started out the evening with supper of soup and salad. Our choices were salmon chowder (yuck, I like my salmon grilled or baked by itself thank you), split pea and jobie stew. The later being made out of naughty jobie's.

On to the meeting. The HQ did a great job of running the mtg and of course as with any official visit the bulk of the evening was spent on escorts, introductions and honors. Being a Past Honored Queen, I get escorted and introduced. Not tooting my horn here, just splainin' for people that do not know that part of my history.

After the mtg we piled back in the car for the drive to our accommodations for the night. I was almost there when I discovered that I had left my coat at the mtg place. Doh. out hosts had to turn around and go back for it. I felt so silly.

On the way home we stopped at an outlet mall and I bought two new formal dresses for the 10 year old. She can't wait to wear them, would wear them to school if she thought she could get out the door with one of them on.

Next weekend is the sorority ( attended by Jobs Daughters, DeMolay,Rainbow and several other fraternal groups) ball. She really wants to go to that but, she has to clean her room first and I don't see a lot of progress. We will see. If she does go I expect to her to sit on the side lines watching. She's 10 for gosh sakes. She'd be to shy to dance. She can if she wants to tho, there will be plenty of chaperone's there I won't worry.

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Friday, November 7, 2008

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

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Until Further Notice  

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'll be waiting for my Big Rock Candy Mountain.

On a summer day in the month of May a burly bum came hiking
Down a shady lane through the sugar cane, he was looking for his liking.
As he roamed along he sang a song of the land of milk and honey
Where a bum can stay for many a day, and he won't need any money

Oh the buzzin' of the bees in the cigarette trees near the soda water fountain,
At the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings on the Big Rock Candy Mountains

There's a lake of gin we can both jump in, and the handouts grow on bushes
In the new-mown hay we can sleep all day, and the bars all have free lunches
Where the mail train stops and there ain't no cops, and the folks are tender-hearted
Where you never change your socks and you never throw rocks,
And your hair is never parted

Oh the buzzin' of the bees in the cigarette trees near the soda water fountain,
At the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings on the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Oh, a farmer and his son, they were on the run, to the hay field they were bounding
Said the bum to the son, "Why don't you come to the big rock candy mountains?"
So the very next day they hiked away, the mileposts they were counting
But they never arrived at the lemonade tide, on the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Oh the buzzin' of the bees in the cigarette trees near the soda water fountain,
At the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings on the Big Rock Candy Mountains

One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking, and he said "Boys, I'm not turning."
"I'm heading for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains;"
"So come with me, we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains."

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, there's a land that's fair and bright,
The handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars all are empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarete trees,
The lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall, the wind don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, you never change your socks
And little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
And you can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin,
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short-handled shovels, no axes, saws or picks,
I'm a-goin' to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

I'll see you all this comin' fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains!

by McClintock

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Monday, November 3, 2008

"wouldn't know fascism if it sat down to smoke a bowl with them"

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The Lengths We Go To For Our Children  

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You Have To Have A Really Big One To Pull This Off  

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

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crack spakle  

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

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The System Sucks  

Monday, October 27, 2008

My friend Anna has written about her journey with her two children for the last six years. The children were adopted and have many issue's that their parents have been working through with lot's of professional help for all concerned.

Last week things came to a head and now they are navigating the "system" again. The process to access mental health care and services is woefully lacking and I agree with her that a lot of people simply fall through the cracks because they have not the capacity or will to navigate the "system". Having a sister and nephew dealing with "system" now, I have heard some of the stories and nightmares caused by state workers. Sissy and nephew have been dealing with his oppositional defiance disorder/RAD/Bi-polar? since the day he was born. She is also dealing with her own mental health issues. Her case culminated in the state forcing her to terminate parental rights. This has been very traumatic for all of us and didn't need to happen. In the state of Washington, if you have a child that needs residential mental health care you better be very wealthy. The States only option (that was ever presented to my sister) was foster care placement. What she was not told was that at the end of the allotted foster care her son would be placed for adoption. Unless Grandma or his aunt (me) would take him into their homes. Well Grandma is too old to do this and I have my own special needs child to care for. It wouldn't have been good for any of us including the nephew. Since Sissy signed her rights over the nephew has had several behavioral issues and been shuttled around to different foster care homes due to his behavior. We are not allowed to see him and cannot write to him either.

Most people in this situation have done something to cause the loss of parental rights ie drugs/physical or sexual abuse. None of these things were present in the beginning. After years of dealing with her son and her own mental health issue's she did start using drugs. It was a short period of time and she did everything the state ordered her to do to qualify to get her son back but, that wasn't good enough.

The whole reason she got screwed is because she's poor and mentally ill. And she was trusting the state to "help" her. See where that got her?

The "system" is set up for neredowell's/absentee parents and drug addicts who not only can't take care of their kids but, don't want to. If you need help managing a child with sever mental health issue's and you are an active parent the state just treats you as if you are a dirt bag parent anyway...very discouraging.

"I do hope that those who believe "Free Medical" or socialized medicine is the way to go will understand one thing... only the STRONG have what it takes to get what is needed most. The Red-Tape and drag out of any reasonable expected governmental service weeds-out many unable to even navigate the system."

Anna Glendenning

Please check out Anna's blog for more info


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Apologies in advance to Mom and her family  

Saturday, October 25, 2008

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Hey Mom  

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I found some more toilet humor. Although I think this goes beyond the "pail"

Check out chocolate rage

Reminds me of a craigslist rant I saw a while back.


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Fish Tank Love  

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

When I got home last nite from my much needed nail appt the girls wanted me to come see the fish tank. We have 3 gold fish 1 Shebunkin and a plecostomus. All of them are 5 to 7 years old. Well, I went to the tank and there's hundreds and hundreds of little brown balls all over the tank. Some were floating on top and some were laying on the bottom and some were floating all over the tank. It looked like one of the kids had dumped the whole can of food into the tank.

On closer inspection tho it was clear that the shebunkin (it has a black spot above the eye's so I named it spot, had no idea it was a female) was poopin out eggs like there was no tomorrow. It was verrryyy educational for the kids. The other 3 fish would follow her around and attempt to fertilize the eggs as they were expelled. eeww fish sex. We don't know if any of the eggs will be viable but, with our luck we will be calling the pet store soon to see if we can unload the babies.

So, the tank is a disaster area and now I have to clean up and I didn't even get a happy ending.


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Knock, knock...who's there?.....Secret Service  

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

So, this woman gets a call from an Obama campaign volunteer. Harmless enough right? Think again.

"She asked if I was an Obama supporter, to which I replied, 'No, I don't support him. Your guy is a socialist who voted four times in the state Senate to let little babies die in hospital closets; I think you should find something better to do with your time.' (And then) I hung up."

The volunteer reported her as saying Obama should die or some such and then the Secret Service paid this woman a visit.

Get ready for more of this. We will all be sent to the re-education camps. I know it sounds like paranoid thinking but, I'm probably gonna be sorry I ever started blogging.

Go to this site to get the rest of the story.

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I am the Nation  

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I was born on July 4, 1776, and the Declaration of independence is my birth certificate. The bloodlines of the world run in my veins, because I offered freedom to the oppressed. I am many things, and many people. I am the United States.

I am 300 million living souls – and the ghost of millions who have lived and died for me.

I am Nathan Hale and Paul Revere. I stood at Lexington and fired the shot heard around the world. I am Washington, Jefferson, and Patrick Henry. I am John Paul Jones, the Green Mountain boys, and Davy Crockett. I am Lee, Grant and Abe Lincoln.

I remember the Alamo, the Maine and Pearl Harbor. When freedom called, I answered and stayed until it was over, over there. I left my heroic dead in Flanders Field, on the rock of Corregidor, and on the bleak slopes of Korea.

I am the Brooklyn Bridge, the wheat lands of Kansas, and the granite hills of Vermont. I am the coal fields of the Virginias and Pennsylvania, the fertile lands of the West, the Golden Gate and the Grand Canyon. I am Independence Hall, the Monitor and the Merrimac.

I am big. I sprawl from the Atlantic to the Pacific, three million miles throbbing with industry. I am more than five million farms. I am forest, field, mountains and desert. I am quiet villages – and cities that never sleep. You can look at me and see Ben Franklin walking down the streets of Philadelphia with his bread loaf under his arm. You can see Betsy Ross with her needle. You can see the lights of Christmas, and hear the strains of Auld Lang Syne as the calendar turns.

I am Babe Ruth and the World Series. I am 160,000 schools and colleges, and 250,000 churches where my people worship God as they think best. I am a ballot dropped in a box, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and the voice of a choir in a cathedral. I am an editorial in a newspaper, and a letter to a Congressman.

I am Eli Whitney and Stephen Foster. I am Tom Edison, Albert Einstein, and Billy Graham. I am Horace Greeley, Will Rogers, and the Wright brothers. I am George Washington Carver, Daniel Webster and Jonas Salk.

I am Longfellow, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Walt Whitman and Thomas Paine.

Yes, I am the Nation, and these are the things that I am. I was conceived in freedom and, God willing, in freedom will I spend the rest of my days. May I possess always the integrity, the courage and the strength to keep myself unshackled, to remain a citadel of freedom and a beacon of hope to the world.

I am the United States!

OTTO WHITTAKER, “I Am the Nation,” Norfolk and Western Railway Company Magazine, January 15, 1976

I am an American. Just an American, no hyphen's

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I'm a big yellow sticky note on my son's school records part 2  

Sunday, October 5, 2008

So, on Thursday of last week there were children passing poster's out that said "tell your mama to vote for Obama" Some of the kids were wearing these posters taped to their shirts. The agitated my son in his science class. He was very vocal in his dislike for these signs and of course because he reacted the kids tormented him even more.

On Friday morning I called the school district to find out what the policy on political signs was. The district says no political signs are allowed. The district then wanted to know where I saw these signs. I wasn't about to tell them, I wanted to talk to the principal of the school first.

I finally talked to the principal and she said she did see the poster's being handed out and that she stopped that. I told her about what happened in the science class and she hadn't heard about that. I said why would the teacher tell you about it? I'm sure he wanted to keep it quiet. She said that political themed t-shirts were ok. I'll be calling the district on Monday to find out the policy on posters taped to t-shirts.

Well, since we were on the phone anyway the principal wanted to know if I had any other issue's. I told her about the PE class problem, that C was supposed to be in adaptive PE. Because of scheduling problems he was offered gen ed PE and he accepted it. Then he was bullied. I told her I wanted him out of PE all together he is under weight and it's not like he needs it. I don't care if it's a state requirement. Exceptions are made all the time, make one.

I also told her about the IEP problem which she also knew nothing about. I explained that I could not go to the Thursday mtg because my advocate had already scheduled a mtg after I called her to let her know that the school had canceled the mtg for Thursday. "OH, why would you need an advocate?" she says. I told her that my husband won't be at the mtg and I'm not coming alone.

When we ended the call she said she would be attending the IEP mtg (now that she knows about it and the trouble I'm causing) Yes sir, Tuesday should be interesting.

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I'm a big yellow sticky note on my son's school records  

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I'm sure it's just me but, I think you should be able to go to school without being subjected to flying Bio-Hazards. Last week the 14 year old boy told me someone spit on him (more than once) in his Science class. Rather than try to call the school (have tried that before, it just gets my blood pressure up) I emailed the teacher directly. See, they rely on their email now, don't bother trying to call. It's a waste of time. So, the incident happened on Thursday. I emailed teacher Friday morning. After two follow up emails I finally heard from the teacher on Monday morning. Seems he was sick Friday and had no email access ALL weekend. hhhmm a science teacher with no email access for three whole days....I ain't buyin' it.
He said he is referring (that means he sent him the the principal) the kid and calling his parents. That will solve the problem I'm sure.

Meanwhile, the school called last wed and invited me to an IEP mtg on Thur of this week. Ok, short notice but, ok. Then the school called on wed this week and canceled. I canceled my advocate. Then the school called back an hour later and said the mtg was back on at original date and time. Too late to re-schedule the advocate. I told them the time won't work now. Well the woman said, it has to be done by Oct. 7th. I'm now trying to find out if I can cancel the mtg. If I give them permission to go beyond the "drop dead date" on the current IEP. School says no but, what kind of a mother would I be if I took their word for it. They are only looking out for themselves, not my child. That job falls on me and I really don't mind being a witch with capital B when it comes to my children getting what they need. As of now, I think the mtg is scheduled for Tue. I haven't got confirmation on that tho.

Yesterday I called the district records dept and asked for a copy of the current IEP. The woman was confused about which IEP I wanted, she said I could not have a copy of the new one. I asked for the "current" one. She did have the foresight to check if it was there. It was not, it was in his file at the school. The school told me to call records. The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing and most of the time this works to the school advantage. Not this time. I then called the school back and explained that I wanted a copy of the IEP and that I knew it was at the school for the mtg that was not going to happen. The woman wanted to know which one I wanted. Well it went thru my head what the woman at records said so I said both of them thinking that she would say I can't have both of them. She said ok. Score! 'course some of the stuff is not in the new one. I took them to a friends house and we looked over them and guess what....the date on the current one is December so according to the current IEP we still have two more months to do this mtg.

To Be Continued

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Laughed 'til I cried  

Friday, October 3, 2008

I wish I knew who wrote this

Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child about whom you know nothing and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.

Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me.

Lest you think this is a bad case of ‘no discipline,’ I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200.

Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time.

I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend.

I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment.

I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs am. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for a few hours. Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour. The rolls were ready to go in the oven.

It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.

I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few second s of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be OK, however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night.

God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismol any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.

We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing; put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction.

He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.

His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk..

He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.

Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.

My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.
Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it.

Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead i f I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.

Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, ‘what goes in must come out’ and Jasper was no exception.

Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house.

Having discovered his ‘packages’ on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.
This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.

We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.

Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.

I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.

It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to: ‘How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet.’

And how was your day?

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Dear Leader  

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What Does That "B" Stand For In PBS?  

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Gwen Ifill is a commentator for PBS news. She also happens to be writing a book about Obama.

She will be moderating the debate between Palin and Biden this week. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS


If the situation were reversed we would see the BIAS CONSERVATIVE moderator withdrawing

and apologizing for ever considering the gig in the first place.

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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

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ObeyMe's Bracelet Gate  

Sunday, September 28, 2008

So, Obamao has a bracelet too! What he didn't tell us is that the family requested that he not wear it. That right there ought to tell everyone what he thinks about service members and their families.

What a Pig. Oops, I should be more careful what I say. The Stazi will be after me.


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A Cure for what ails you  

Thursday, September 25, 2008

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Schwine Hund  

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

In light of what has come out about "The One's" trip to Baghdad (he told the Iraqi's to wait 'til after the inauguration to negotiate a US troop withdrawal ) I believe that he and his people believed that for all intents and purposes he was already President. They just needed to wait 'til after the pesky inauguration so that "The One" could take all the credit. Even his own national security spokesperson Wendy Morigi has admitted what was said during the meeting. She had to, there were too many witnesses. I really hope this gets some air play. I won't hold my breath though.

On the other hand, it explains the many gyrations of the Obama/Media's Campaign against Sarah Palin. I mean these people thought they had it all sewn up, it was in the bag, McCain was going down. Then Palin appears and things don't seem quite so secure anymore.

I hope he and his shrew are having to change their underwear on an hourly basis.

There is a law against doing this. It's called the Logan Act. If a person is convicted they could be sentenced to Three years in Federal Prison. If it were one of us little people I have no doubt we would be in jail before we knew what hit us. But, Obama is NOT one of us. HE is a Lawyer/Community Organizer.


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O M G  

GASP....Sarah Palin bought a used tanning bed with her own money and had it installed in her living quarters. What will she do next? The nerve. She obviously doesn't care about the little people/Sarc

Puh-leeze. The media is a bunch of MORON'S. If I lived in Alaska I would be using a tanning bed.
In fact, I did use a tanning bed last spring. For about two months prior to going to Hawaii. I enjoyed it and it did make me feel better to get some sort of warm/light on me a few times a week. Fall and Winter in the Pacific Northwest are gray and drizzly. A lot of us suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and the treatment for that is light therapy. I'm not saying Mrs. Palin or myself have the disorder. I just have experienced the benefits of tanning beds and I don't begrudge anyone the use of them. For the media to slather this all over the place is a waste of time. It just makes me despise the media all that much more.

Millions of people use tanning beds. Yes they can be over used. Yes they can be dangerous if abused. Shhhh....did you know that even the simple act of breathing causes cancer? But, only in small amounts over loooonnnnggg periods of time.

All those people (media, lawyers, investigator's) up there digging thru her trashcan and this is the best they come up with?



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Back to our regularly scheduled lives  

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Well, we managed to survive the first full week back to school. The girls are really happy to be back in class with their friends. Connor has made some new friends and one of them is a girl, oh my!

Sam has wanted to be in band this year so we decided that she should play the flute. Size and money wise the best choice. I rented one today and managed to get it for under $20/month. Boy, am I glad I talked her out of orchestra. Connor dabbled with the cello for four months. That was really painful.

Both girls are back at the pool for lessons. They are now in group four. They are learning more advanced things like flipping and pushing off the wall. I spent Thursday watching the instructor flip his head every 2 minuets. I assume he was trying to get the water out of his ears or maybe get his hair out of his face, tho his hair isn't very long. It just really irritated me. It was so exaggerated that I thought he was just doing it to get attention. Why he would do that I don't know, there isn't anyone there to impress but a bunch of little kids.

My friend Anna and I were installed as Council Members in the Guardians Council at the local Jobs Daughters Bethel. I am the new Director of Paraphernalia. That means I oversee the properties of the Bethel. Since Sam is a member I want to support her activities and Lyd will be joining up next year. It's a great organization that the girls and I can both benefit from.

I'm looking forward to a trip to Auburn in Oct. That will be adult leadership training so Sam will be staying home.

That's all for today.

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The Bourne Stupidity  

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

One more Holly weirdo crossed off my list. Too bad my family really liked the Bourne movies.

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No room under the tent for some of us  

Sunday, September 7, 2008

For years I thought the only party I could vote for was the democrat party. Until I reached a time in my life that I finally formed my personal principals.

At that time the party didn't really represent me anymore. This is not to say that I became a republican. It's just that the republican party was closer to my principals. The democrat party now represents the "why don't we do it in the road" hedonistic, if it feels good do it sort of principals that can only lead to anarchy. If you feel strongly about certain topics you just aren't welcome there.

Today,I found an article written by Suann Therese Maier

"Finally, I will vote for Sarah Palin, not because I’ve left the Democratic party of my youth and young adulthood, but because that party has left me. In fact, it no longer exists. And no amount of elegant speaking, exciting choreography, and moral alibis will bring it back."

It's a good read, check it out

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I've had it up to here....and I'm not going to take it any more!  

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Now playing: Don Henley - Dirty Laundry
via FoxyTunes

Are you as sick of the Media as I am? I'm so tired of all the press telling us what and how to think.

Item number one: Polls and Surveys. You do know that all polls and surveys are written to illicit the exact answers the pollster and survey takers want right? In any poll results lie the ammunition to make us rube's either happy or sad depending on how the media wants us to feel. Don't fall for that crap, think for yourself. The Internet is a great place to gather info, just remember that you can't believe everything you read on it. If you are only looking at TV news, yahoo news or slate you might want to spend a little extra time seeking out news from alternate "suppliers".

Item number two: The John Edwards story. The media knew about this a year ago but, sat on it because it didn't fit their agenda. Now really, I don't give a fig about him. It does show a lack of judgement on his part. Along with some very uncaring treatment of his wife who is dealing with cancer. If Mrs Edwards doesn't want to make a stink about it I don't care. How they deal with issues as husband and wife is really not my concern. What I do care about is that this man can be led around by his dick. I don't want another one of those in the White House.

If you don't believe the Media is trying to control us through the news what do you think has been going on for the last week? "Trig is Bristol's" "Sarah wasn't pregnant" "Palin's 17 yr old daughter pregnant" And this gem, "Todd Palin arrested for DUI"? All designed to make us think that the Palin family is whiter trash than the Spears family. So Todd got a DUI? so what? It's not like he drove off a bridge and flipped his car upside down and then scrambled to shore leaving his date to die a cold and lonely death. Yes, Teddy Kennedy I'm talkin' bout you.

You do not see the Media dragging out Teddy's skeleton every time he is on tv or the news do you?

Here is something you can do to make your feelings known to the Media. Visit this web site

and find some their advertisers to boycott as well.

Now for some comedic relief try this:


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B.E.M. (shout out to Mom)  

Monday, September 1, 2008

If you build it, they will come. If you turn on a work cell phone, they will call. At seven am on a holiday. With a Stupid question like, "can I have a raise?"

Well, here's a hint: If you want a raise it's usually not a good idea to wake up the boss's wife at seven am on a holiday.

Sheesh, does no one have any common sense anymore?

Note to self: make sure the stupid phone is turned off since the phone's owner won't.

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My Trip Into the World of E Readers  

Friday, August 29, 2008

So, I got a wild hair and decided I just had to have one! One what you ask? Well it's a hand held device sort of like an mp3 player only for books. You can go to an online bookstore like amazon, fictionwise, my bookstore and more, and many others. There you can purchase digital books. Usually at less cost than a hard copy and no shipping. Through the Gutenberg project you can even download free books. I go through voracious reading spurts where I will read 10 or more books in a month. I'm also one those weirdo's that will read more than one book at a time.

I started buying and downloading books to my computer a little over a year ago. While this was a cost effective alternative for me I found reading whole books on my "puter" cumbersome at best. I like to lay in bed and read and the laptop just doesn't work for that.

Now I am only slightly more computer literate than a rock, contrary to what certain family members think. Customer support is crucial for me. That being said I chose to go with a less costly model in the ebookwise ereader. When I finally got the device to connect to the store site I could download books that I purchased at ebookwise but not any other site or books that I had already downloaded to my computer. Which is the whole reason I wanted an ereader.

Unfortunately, ebookwise appears to have a customer support dept that consists of one person that only works two days a week and can only be reached via email. Oh sure, they ask you for your phone number and best time to call. They say they will respond in 24 hrs. The first issue I contacted them about was not responded to for three days. The emailed response did not address the issue I had. The second issue, that of wanting to know what the return policy was, did not get an answer for four days. Again via email. I would have thought they would want to talk to me, see what the problem was. Try to keep me as a customer.

After 15 hours (and lots of grumbling and grouching) trying to make the device do what it was supposed to do I gave up. I ordered an Amazon Kindle. While the device is cost prohibitive it does all I want it to do and then some. It has an mp3 player on it. You can even connect to the web and read blogs. The best thing about the Kindle is the customer support. A phone number to a live person in the US. Within half an hour of receiving the device I was downloading books to it and reading some of the blogs that I follow.

Amazon will be releasing a new version of Kindle this fall and I probably should have waited for it but, I love my Kindle. It does all that I want it to do and now I can get rid of these stacks of books piled all over my house.

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Tick, Tick, Tick  

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

School starts next Wednesday Sept. third. WOO HOO I can get back to my regularly scheduled life. Not that I don't love my children. At this point in the summer I can tell they are soooo bored they are actually looking forward to school starting, I was finally able to get the shopping done and now there are just a few incidentals left to take care of.

Tomorrow there is a "meet the teachers". We'll be going to that even tho the eight year old has had this years teacher for 2nd grade and the ten year old was in this years teacher's class for 40 min. a day last year. So, we have a good idea what to expect and we know these teachers already.
Still, the girls want to go so we will.

The 14 year old even expressed a desire to return to school this year so that is a welcome change although, come Wednesday morning at six am I'm sure he will be singing a different tune.

I'm looking forward to getting back into a routine.


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You Go Girl  

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Bikini clad barista's in Parkland.

Sheesh, ya can't even go to work in a coffee stand without being subjected to perv's these days.
This dope shows up wearing women's frillies and "touching" himself. He then proceeds to drive up two more times. On the third trip to the window the girl opens the window and douses him with boiling water. Woo Hoo , I like this chick, except I would've done it on the second trip.

Great, except the perv appeared to enjoy it.

I of course wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini let alone in a bikini serving gourmet coffee. If I had the bod for it....sure I might do that.


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Time to Vent  

Monday, August 18, 2008

I have had this issue before. The last time I tried to buy something at . For some reason unknown to me or my bank, verified by visa says my birthdate and phone# do NOT match the card on file.

I have tried to activate on the visa site to no avail. My bank says there shouldn't be any problem and of course walmart does not know anything about verified by visa except that you have to do it in order to make an online purchase,

I do a LOT on online buying. Walmart is the ONLY place I have seen this verified by visa malarkey .

Now it really wouldn't be that much of an issue. If I didn't have a broken leg and could just drive myself to the store to buy my children their school clothes.


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Back in Black  

Today is the 35th Anniversary of AC/DC's first club date. Happy Anniversary guys, and for those too old to rock, we salute you.

Here's to you Barb A and our last dance together at reunion

Here is a funny bit in honor of AC/DC I found on youtube


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I escaped the cast  

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ok, I managed to get out of wearing a cast for four weeks. Instead I have a brace that keeps my knee from bending beyond a certain degree. Husband will be going back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, I have three kids at home for summer break to wait on me hand and foot. We'll see how that goes. I won't be able to drive anywhere for a while so I may be calling on some of you to bring me snacky's and stuff. I'll make it worth your while, I promise. Doc say's I can start getting up and moving around this week so I'm happy about that. Meanwhile, I have a stack of shredding that I'm catching up on. Doesn't that sound like fun?


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Paris Responds  

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

This is so funny. I love it. Rather than get all indignant (tho maybe she did, I don't know) she makes her own ad. I know her Mom had some choice words about the McCain ad. But, I didn't hear if Paris herself said anything up until this release.

BTW, her energy policy sounds very similar to the bill the Republicans want an up or down vote on right now.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

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Trapped in Bed  

Saturday, August 2, 2008

So, I have been laying bed feeling sorry for myself and not doing much of anything aside from the basic's. By basics I mean hefting myself out of bed and shuffling 10 or 12 mini steps to position myself on the commode. My dear hubby ran out Thursday morning to get it for me since I had such a hard time getting to the bathroom and then because my right leg is completely immobile and sticking straight out, it would not fit (postage stamp size) in the bathroom. Ahh, it's the little things in life that really matter.

In between trips I have been surfing the net and looking at my blog. I've been looking at small things to enhance my blog. Since I am only a noob at this stuff it can get very confusing. Take for instance I wanted to add an RSS Feed to my blog. That is a news/post update for blogs that I follow. I think. I went to feedburner and registered an account and signed up my blog for feedburner. So now I get an update in my google reader when the blogs I read and subscribe to post an update. I was thinking it would show on my blogspot page. I guess I was wrong about that. Anna? I'm so confused.

Anyway, with all this time on my hands now I will be spending a good portion of it adding to and tweaking my blogs. I hope to work them into sites that my family and friends can visit to get updates on our family and see what silly/controversial/weird/helpful or just trivial entertainment sites I find in my wanderings.

later, P

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I'm not going anywhere!  

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wednesday nite at 8:30 I fell down and hurt my leg. I thought I just sprained it but it hurt pretty bad so we piled in the car and went to the urgent care at Interstate. That's about a 15 min drive. It wasn't too busy but we still sat for 2 and half hrs before I got back to the exam room. The doc asked me some questions and decided I should have xray's so that was another 45 min. It seemed like another hr before the doc came back and told me that my leg is broken right below the knee, the small bone that runs from knee to ankle. The nerve is not severed so I won't need surgery but I do have a splint from my nether regions to my toe's. Which means I will not be working in the baked potato booth at the fair OR going to Canada next week. I will call orthopedics and make an appt for next week where I hope and pray that they will want to do new xray's and find that it's just a bad sprain. Which would be bad enough but, more than likely I am going to have a full length plaster cast on my right leg for who knows how long. Which means I will not be driving myself anywhere anytime soon.
Getting into the house and onto my bed was LOADS of fun. Thankfully I did get a prescription for pain meds.

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Widget update  

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

See new google map widget below. You can see where I am going next week by entering wells, bc, canada in the search field. After the map loads click on zoom out (that's the minus button) a few times to see where Wells, BC is in relation to where you are.

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I'm shmart lol  

Yeah for me! I just added my first widget. It can be found at my other blogspot called Polly Wog Blog. I was visiting one of my fav blogs called Death by a 1000 papercuts and found a widget there for today's weird news in history. I just clicked on the button at the bottom that said get widget and then picked blogger from the choice of myspace, facebook et al. and then saved my changes on my blogspot page. Gosh, that was easy, now I'm off to find a widget for this page....I'm off to find a widget.....hhmmm hhmmm, hmm , hmmm, hmm,hmm

You can find the link to my other blog on the left side of this page, just click on view my profile.

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Monday nite at the movies  

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I don't go to many movies these days. It just cost's too much so when I do go I want to see something really good. My friend Anna and I went to see Mama Mia. Ohhh it was so much fun! We really enjoyed the music and sang along with quite a few of the numbers. I actually found it charming that "some" of the stars in the movie were obviously not picked for their voices. It made it more fun, sort of more realistic if you could call a musical/movie realistic.
Watching the film made me want to go to Greece. It looks so beautiful there. If only there were there weren't so many hills to climb.

Be sure and stick around for the credit's or you'll miss the special ending.

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House Keeping UGH  

Monday, July 28, 2008

Today I am cleaning my bedroom. The girls like to help me do this as they usually get some treasure I let go of. Sam got a brand new pair of pj's and Lydia got some floam. It's a work in progress and I keep telling myself it always looks worse before it gets better.
I promised my husband I would have it clean before I leave for Canada and that's next week so I better get busy.

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Ding Dong the Witch is Dead  

Sunday, July 27, 2008

It's Sunday nite and my two girls and I are piled on my bed watching The Wizard of OZ. I have many fond memories of doing the same thing with my parents and grandparents. With gramma and grampa we always had a huge bowl of white popcorn and soda's. Mine was always 7-up with a marchino cherry at the bottom. Hmmm, I'm going to have to get some next time I go shopping so I can complete my trip down memory lane.

The men folk are having "man cave" time watching John Adams in the living room. I'm going to go ruin it by making some popcorn. If they are nice to me I will share some with them.

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In the begining  

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I'm just getting started here. My friend Anna has been filling my head with all kinds of cool ideas. So, I have opened a gmail account and a blogspot all in one night! It's going to be fun to see where this takes me.

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